Emptiness



Photo credit: Shutterstock / Antonio Guile


From a dream that I do not recall, I woke up one day
finding way to the bath, but passing out half way.
No liking for food, yet rats always in there,
upset digestion and sleeping everywhere!

The steths and white coats confirmed, reason for discomfort,
Oh li'l one! You were growing in me! After years of effort!
I felt so sad for cursing the days;
with bad tummy and the moods worse;
But I realized there you are;
and that gave more motives to care!

I spoke to you, and made your dad too,
and as days passed, there were others, not just us two.
You turned and twisted, I could make that out,
You did hurt me at start; I even would shout!
You took me by surprise, each day when you grew,
The movements inside, an experience so new!

I took it as the beginning of a new phase of life,
the best feeling, leave past being daughter, friend and wife.
We had been waiting to have you for years,
my heart cried in pain, from eyes rolled tears -
at the sight of kids with others in the park,
an aching silence would grow; the mind turned dark.

Then in me, when we knew you dwelled,
Happy were our lives; happiness in eyes welled!
Little did we know, short is the time,
You will leave us soon, with no words, no mime;
Where once you were, I feel an empty belly,
No one can feel this my way, this feeling of melancholy.

I wish you stayed few more months, was I not meant for you?
was sick of hearing from others, thought you'd make me mother, true.
People come, sit by my side, hold my hands, some even cry,
I got not you, but have no tears - see today, my eyes are dry,
The hopes that were built, broke when you came still,
In our lives the emptiness made, I wonder will ever fill.

Comments

  1. A devastating loss.. the waiting and the happiness just to be broken short... you make me cry listening to this....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, a great loss for ones who go through it, we cannot just fathom..
      This is but an attempt to put into words the probabilities of feelings...

      Delete
  2. You convinced me it was real! I can imagine...our first grandchild lost early in miscarriage.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My heart goes out to you, Vijita. There are no words that can comfort someone who goes through this tragedy. My own daughter lost her first pregnancy to miscarriage. I hope that writing about it may bring some help in your healing.
    Gayle ~

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Friends,
    I would like to inform you that this isn't my story. A close friend had to go through this recently. i knew every bit of what she felt and wrote this poem; putting myself in her shoes. Do not this for an incident that has happened to me.

    as i said earlier too, its a loss that me or others cannot fathom. one who goes through it, its very difficult for them to cope up with life and finds it hard to come back to normalcy. I wrote this for them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So grim. Very well-penned though.

    ReplyDelete

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